


My Darling

by jensensassckles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Brother-Sister Relationships, Destiel - Freeform, Drug Use, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-15 14:11:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2231940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jensensassckles/pseuds/jensensassckles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecelia was Dean and Sam Winchester's little sister. Castiel Novak was Deans childhood bestfriend. From a little girls crush to a more adult experienced relationship Cecelia gets her shot at her first love Castiel who is 7 years older.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She just stared at him. Admiring him. His eyes caught hers. She smiled at him giving him admiring looks. He just stared at her almost in a daze from her bright green eyes, the bright green eye her and her brother shared. She smiled at him and got up from the couch in the room across and left. Castiel looked down and back at Dean who was shuffling the cards to play a game of poker. He looked over to the side where he saw Sam laughing playfully with Jess. He looked over at Dean again and smiled. They all seemed occupied for him to get up and not be rude.

"Dean I'm going to use the restroom" Dean still shuffling the cards nodded. Cas walked up the stairs and made a turn walking away from the bathroom. He made his way over to a door that was cracked open. He peaked in and saw her sitting at the edge of her bed. Her long light brown hair was down messily curled.

"Cas are you just going to stand there" he took a breath and creaked the door open slowly. He walked into the bedroom. Walls painted a light pink and a big bed in the middle of the room nicely made. He shut the door quietly and walked over to her. He stood in front of her, she looked up and smiled. "Hi Cas". She smiled. She stood up in front him kissing his cheek.

"Hello Cecelia" he smiled back at her. He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him. He lifted her chin up and pressed their lips together. "Its good to have you back in my arms" he whispered to her lips still close to each others. He kissed her again this time laying her into her the bed.

"Cas just wait till I can come over" she said quietly. Placing her hand in his chest slightly pushing him away.

"I only have a couple of days this time not a week"

"I will be there tomorrow I promise" she said. He sat up and leaned against the head rest on the bed. She laid on his chest.

"I feel wrong doing this you know but I like you and I can't help it". He tangles his fingers through her hair.

"Why do you have to go back the same time he does"

"Because Cece, darling what we are doing is wrong and it's not accepted and your brother will definitely not approve both of them". She rubbed her hands around his chest. Cas was 7 and a half years older than her. Her brother Dean was his best friend going to college with him. Castiel came down with Dean every time he did and spend most if his time sneaking around with Cecelia.

"Castiel you have been up here to long"

"I know I'll see you tomorrow" he kissed her forehead and walked out the room going back down the stairs. He sat back at the end of the table and picked up the cards left for him.

"Cas I was thinking if going back up tomorrow morning so you wanna stay the night here rather than at your apartment" Cas slowly looked up at him and let out a sigh. "Something wrong with that plan?"

"No, no I will stay here"

"Whats wrong Cas you seem gloomy today"

"Nothing just tired and stressed" Dean raised and eyebrow at him then continuing the game.

 

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Cas waited for Dean to go up to his room before he made his way to Cecelia's room. He quietly opened and closed her door. He walked over to the empty side of her bed. He laid down next to her. He leaned in closer to her and kissed her. She was woken up by Casse's lips. She smiled and slowly opened her eyes.

"What are you doing here" she asked quietly.

"I'm leaving in the morning, your brother had a change of plans"

"So you came to lay with me?"

"Yes darling"

"I will miss you" she said. Cece tugged at his shirt, lifting it from the bottom to slip her hands under and feel his bare chest. Castiel did the same only this time reaching around back to undo her bra clasp. She looked up at him. "Cas not tonight next time" he looked confused.

"Alright, then I will just lay here with you."

"Cas I'm getting closer to being and adult. I'm 15 and a half in a couple of weeks."

"3 more years baby" he said pulling her closer kissing her forehead. Cas was 22.

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Castiel packed the Dean's car with both of there things. They waved by to Sam and Jess. Dean walked over to his little sister and picked her up spinning her around.

"You are so grown up now I remember when you were still running around playing with your dolls annoying the hell out of me"

"Aw Dean I'm going to miss you come home sooner than last time"

"Alright make sure Sammy takes good care of you and I love you"

"I love you to Dean". She gave him one last hug and let him go. Both their parents died and it was up to the two brothers too look after her. Dean always felt more responsible for her more protective of her like how a dad would. Castiel stood there staring at her. She smiled at him and blew a kiss to him while Dean's back was turned. He smiled and waved bye to her.

Dean and Cas hit the road. There university was a 5 hour drive away. Cas looked out the window. He missed her. They had been seeing each other for about a month. His feelings were growing stronger every day.

"Cas" Dean said. Cas was to focused outside. "Cas" Dean said a second time. Castiel turned around and stared at him. "Are you going to tell me whats wrong?"

"Like I said last night I'm tired and stressed. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Do you miss her" Dean said. Cas heart stopped for a minute. He looked back at Dean and gave him a confused look. "Ruby do you miss her"

"Oh.. no" Ruby was the girl Cas went to when he was drunk or high. They talked when they sober but it wasn't anything special. He tried not to talk to her as much but she really dose like Cas.

"Dude what is up with you." He patted his shoulder. Cas just looked out the window.

 

Castiel was reading a book in his dorm room when he heard a knock. He looked at the door to lazy to get up and opened it.

"Just come in." A dark hair girl came in.

"Hey Cas is Dean here" he looked over at her and just stared. He went back to his book.

"No he went out."

"Well then we would have this whole room to our selves right" she asked.

"Ruby I'm not in the mood."

"Cas I missed you" she said softly walking towards him. She sat in his bed playing with his hair.

"Ruby please" he groaned.

"Cas why are you like this." She looked at him and frowned. "I know you have a feeling about me about me and you" she grabbed his hand a brought it up to her lips. Cas pulled his hand away and close his book looking up at her.

"Ruby I'm going to bed I will see you tomorrow." She looked down disappointed that he was pushing her away

"Goodnight Castiel" she gave him a kiss on the cheek and left the dorm.  
Castiel turned of his lamp and closed his eyes. That night he dreamt about Cecelia.

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Cas told Dean he need time off of school for a while.

"Cas you're going to fail all the hard work and you're going to fucking give it all up." Castiel just looked everywhere but up at him.

"Dean its to much and I'm tired I'm just going to go home for a while"

"Cas your my other brother my best friend I hate to see you like this you know but this school was so important to you and to see you throw it away..." Dean went on and Cas lost his attention.

"Look Dean I'm going and I will be back.." Cas paused. "I will be back soon" Dean rubbed his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath.

"Ok, ok" Castiel picked up his bags and walked out the door.

He took his car down the long road all the way home.

He made a stop in front if the big house where she lived and just sat there in his car. He looked around to see if Sam or Jess's car had been parked there. He took a breath and got out the car and walked up to the door. His hand clenched together to knock. He just stood there waiting for an answer. The clicks of the locks made a sound and Cas's heart starting beating faster. There she was young and beautiful they way he left her. She looked up at him and smiled jumping into her arms.

"Hey baby" he said clenching his arms around her. "Sam and Jess around?"

"No they left a while ago to go on a day trip."

"Get your things then darling you're coming home with me" he smirked. She smiled real big and gave him a kiss in the cheek.

"Ok hold on" She squealed and ran up the stairs. He stood at the door waiting for her.

"Cas?" He heard someone say. Cas turned around and saw Sam. "Cas is that you?" He clenched his jaw tight and smiled.

"Yea hey Sam I was looking for you."

"Oh well here I am" he smiled at Cas and raised his eyebrows wondering what he wanted. "Where is Cecilia"

"Oh well she answered the door and said you weren't home" he said and pause trying to think of something else to say. "She said that you were on a day trip with Jess"

"Yea I forgot the camera so we came back to get it then we will be back later on today" Cecilia came running down the stairs with her stuff. Sam being as tall as he is looked over Castiel's shoulders. He looked back up at Cas.

"Alright let's go" Cecelia said. She looked up and saw Sam. "Oh hey Sam" she said quietly.

"Going somewhere" Sam asked.

"Um yea Meg's house I asked Cas to take me since he was here"

"Oh ok then how long will you be staying"

"I don't know yet"

"Well not for to long" she smiled and nodded her head.

"Um are you ready" Castiel said nervously. She shook her head.

"Oh Cas why did you need me?" Sam asked before they left.

"Oh right" Cas said hesitantly "well I read all my books and I was going to ask if you had any I could borrow cause I'm taking a break from school to calm down" he said hesitantly.

"Oh well I don't think any of mine will interest in but you can see if you like"

"Um you know what I forgot you have different taste than I do so its ok"

"Alright then bye Cas bye Cecelia" Castiel got in the car and drove away from the house. The rest if the ride was silent. Cas pulled up to his apartment building parking lot. He looked over at Cecelia and placed his hands in her small cheeks pulling her close. Their lips touch softly. He pulled away and looked at her.

"God you are beautiful"


	2. Chapter 2

Cecelia and Castiel were laying in the bed giggling and playing with each other's hands. It had been about two weeks with her staying at Cas's apartment. She was still lying to Sam about being at Meg's house and he believed her she had stayed for a month with Meg before. Sam only allowed it because it was just them two unless Jess stopped by or Dean. 

"Cas" she said softly "I could lay with you forever" 

"As could I" Cecelia laid there, head on Cas's bear chest. She loved him well at least she thought she did. "Put some clothes on baby lets go eat" 

"Are you willing to take that risk" she said.

"No but that's why we are not eating in town" 

"Well were are we going"

"You will see its somewhere special." He kissed her forehead but Cecelia grabbed his face and pulled him down to kiss his lips. They laid there in the bed both under the covers half naked. She held her arms around his back holding him close to her. He unlocked his lips from her and looked at her. He just stared at her, blue eyes staring into her green ones. 

"Cas is it ok that I said I love you" she said.

"Well" he paused "I love you so it seems only right that you'd say it back" they both smiled at each other. 

"I love you Castiel" 

 

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Castiel drove down a long curvy road up a small mountain. Cecelia was confused on why he was going up here, since he had said they were going out to eat. She had been up this road with Sam and Dean for day trips and she knew there was no places with food anywhere on this road. She looked over at Cas and raised her eyebrows.

"Don't worry baby" he rested his hand on her thigh "I know where we are going." She took a breath and went back to looking out the window. 

Castiel finally parked the car at the top of the mountain. He got out the car while she waited there confused. He oped her door with a huge smile across his face. He swung his arm around to invite her out the car. 

"Come on Cece" she just sat there and stared at him. "Fine you want the hard way" he unbuckled her seatbelt and pulled her over his shoulder "you get the hard way." She laughed and yelled at Cas to put her down. He walked her over to the edge and put her down.

"What the hell Cas." He smiled and pulled her face to his and kissed her. 

"I really hope your hungry" he said while walking away to the car. He opened the trunk and pulled out a white blanket with a bag full of food. He walked back over to her and kissed her cheek before laying out the blanket. 

"A picnic" she asked.

"All for my baby." He set out the food and sat on the blanket. Cecelia looked at him and giggled as he patted the empty space next to him for her to sit. She rolled her eyes and sat next to him. 

"I go back soon" she took her hand in his "to school I go back in 3 weeks" 

"Let's not worry about that yet" he said tightening his hand around hers. He got up from his place holding his sandwhich walking over to the edge. The edge of the cliff was a straight fall down into rocks and water. The cliff was the place Cas went to think about what was bothering him girls, school, family just anything basically. Cecelia place her arms around his waist and squeezed him tight before moving to stand next to him.

"Dean and Sam use to take me here" she looked down and remember the times when she was smaller and she would get yelled at from Dean for standing to close to the edge. Dean had been taking care of her and Sam since he was sixteen after their parents passing. Dean had help from their uncle Bobby but the three siblings always lived on their own. "I remember I use look down and just think I could fly" 

"Really you thought you could fly" he looked at her. He picked her up and swung her around. "Did you think you can fly like this" 

"Cas" she yelled "Castiel let me down" she yelled and laughed at the same time. He gently put her down. 

 

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Later on that night Cas was woken up from the phone ringing. He turned on his lamp and check the time on his watch. Rubbing his eyes then grabbing the phone.

"Cas" he heard a deep voice "Cas its Dean." He sighed. 

"What happend Dean its 2 in the morning" 

"You need to come back" 

"What do you mean. Why?" Castiel was confused. He looked over to see if Cecelia had woken up to the noise. She was still sound asleep faced the opposite way from Cas. 

"Just come back Cas or I'm going to get you" Dean let out a sigh "I had a thing with this girl Lisa and I have no idea what to do" 

"What happened" 

"Well she is everything a man could need Cas" he paused and took a breath "I need her but I need your help to prove to her im a good guy and not some guy that parties and hooks up with girls" 

"But Dean you are" he checked on Cecelia again. Still sound asleep. "But you are also more than that so I will come back tomorrow night or sometime in the next couple days" 

"Thanks Cas" Dean said out of relief "and my sister do you know if she is home yet Sam said she went to Meg's" Castiel looked behind him. Cecelia laying there again half naked next to him.

"I have no idea I haven't talk to Sam or Cecelia" he said. He knew if Dean knew what was going on he would be dead and Dean would hate him. 

"Alright then bye Castiel" 

–––––––––––––––––  
Cas walked in the dorm room. He looked around and saw Dean laying on his bed reading his usual porn magazine.

"Dean want to make a good impression stop reading that shit" Dean looked up and at Cas. His face grew a smile and he walked over to Cas giving him a hug.

"Where the hell have you been buddy" he let go of Cas "how are you feeling better." Cas nodded his head and walker over to his bed and sat down his things. His bed was still nicely made from when he left.

"So this Lisa girl" 

"Oh she is a beauty and well I told you she everything you need" Dean ran his fingers though his hair and smiled "anyway I planned this dinner tonight and I was hoping you'd go and bring Ruby" 

"I don't know" Cas said. His head dropped down. "I will go but I don't think me and Ruby will ever be something and just bringing her will give her the idea I like her" 

"Well who cares the table is for four so just bring her as a friend" 

Castiel picked up Ruby. His eyes widen when he looked at her. Her hair was pinned up, makeup done nice and her dress. Her dress reached just above her knees, skin tight and glowing red. She smirked at him as he scanned her body from head to toe. 

"Castiel" he was still caught in his mind thinking if how good she looked "Castiel if you came to look at my body I might as well be naked while you lay on my bed"

"Maybe tonight darling." This was the first time he thought if Ruby that way sober. He placed his hand on his hip for her to put her arm through. 

"Castiel whats that bruise on your neck" He looked at her confused. The memory hit him. Cecelia. He smiled at that thought. 

"Oh nothing Dean and I were playing around and he got a little to violent." He thought of them memory he had with Cecelia. Castiel was sitting in the couch watching the news when she pulled his head back and starting kissing all over him then sucking down on his neck. 

Dean, Lisa , Cas, and Ruby sat around the table talking and laughing about stupid things. Castiel had started to drink more and more through out the night. Dean started to notice and told him to hold off on anymore but Castiel just kept ordering more and more. 

"So Cas" Lisa said to him "Dean do you think I should give him a chance" 

"Yes" he to a sip of the alcohol "yes he is a great guy and from all the girls that he brings by I could tell he good in bed" Cas slurred his words, winking at Dean giving him a thumbs up "all you hear is 'oh Dean' all night long." Lisa's smile started fading away while she looked over at Dean and slowly losen her hand from his. Ruby offered him some water but Cas turned it down. He rubbed his fingers through his hair and loosened his tie unbuttoning the top buttons of his shirt. "But Dean he his a fine guy" Castiel waved down the waiter. Dean stared at Cas in disappointment.

"I think we should head out Dean" Lisa said quietly. Dean nodded and stood up from the table Lisa follow after. "Well guys it was a fun night bye Ruby" he looked at Cas and quietly under his breath said bye to Castiel. He walked away from the table his arm around Lisa's back.

"Castiel I think we Should get going as well" Ruby said.

"Do I get to see the view of you tonight baby" 

"I don't know Cas let's just get you out of here first." 

Cas fell back on Ruby's bed. She laid down beside him. He looked at her and put his arm around her kissing her trying to pull the short sleeves from her dress down. Ruby unbuttoning his shirt. 

–––––––––––––––––

Cas woke up with his arm around Ruby. His stomach starting to growl. He got up from the bed and ran to the bathroom. Ruby woke up suddenly from all the harsh movement and stomping. 

"Castiel" she yelled "Cas are you ok." She got up from the bed and quickly pulling over Cas's shirt from last night to cover her self. She walked to the bath room and rubbed his back. 

"What time is it" he said moaning then quickly went back to vomiting. Ruby got up and found his watch in his pants pocket. 

"10:30 am" she said while kneeling back down next to him. 

"Shit I have to get to class" he dropped his head back down and began feeling sick again. 

"Cas you are mess just stay here" she pushed his back "baby just stay here." Castiel turned his head looking up at her, lips covered in shit and vomit. 

"Id rather stay in the garbage and feel like shit than be here with you" his face was filled with anger. 

"Cas darling don't say that you don't mean that baby" she wiped away a tear "you don't mean it" 

"Who are you to call me those names" he said his voice raising "you are just my hook up when I'm drunk nothing more Ruby so stop trying with me" 

"Cas" she said tears now rolling down her face one after the other.

"I found someone better than you so you can just go fuck yourself now." Wiped his mouth and got up leaving Ruby on the bathroom floor crying. He put on his clothes except for his shirt. "Keep the shirt darling just I case you miss me because I'm not coming back" he walked out.

 

He stumbled through his dorm room door and found a surprised Dean cuddling with Lisa. Castiel just stared at them. 

"Dean I'm leaving again for sure this time" Deans eyes widen as he got out the bed pulling on some pants. 

"Cas what do you mean what the hell is wrong with you" 

"I can't Dean no more fuck this school and if you don't let me go fuck you to" 

"Cas I'll be home soon" Dean said as Cas headed out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel was home for about 3 weeks already and still hadn't contacted Cecelia. He just sat in his apartment alone waiting. He had no idea what he was waiting for but he just sat there. Most nights he was drunk and cried, throwing things across the room. He hated his life he hated the fact he lied to his bestfriend everyday about him and Cecelia. He hated that he couldn't have her every second of his day. He hated that he dropped out of Berkeley the school he tried so hard to get into. He hated that he couldn't control himself with drinking and drugs. He didn't want Cecelia to see all this so he kept her away by not talking to her. It hurt him everyday not to talk to her knowing that she was just a phone call awa.

"Shit" he yelled when he stepped on glass from one of the beer bottles he threw. He cleaned up his apartment from all the broken glass. After he jumped into the shower turning the water a hot as possible. He closed his eyes and rubbed his hands over his face. 

It was the beginning of fall, already starting to get cold. He pulled over his trench coat since it was pouring hard out side. He drove to Cecelia's house. Checking to see any sign of Sam or Dean. Nothing. He parked the car and stared at the bright red door the long wide piece of wood keeping him and Cecelia apart. He got out the car and walked in the rain to the red piece of wood. He knocked and walked over to the wall to the right of the door. He heard the clicks of the lock and the door opened slowly and out came a long light brown haired girl who was a few inches shorter than him. She looked around and finally her big green eyes met his blue ones. He was lean against the wall hands in his tan colored trench coat. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck while he grabbed her waist moving his hands all around her back and stomach while she placed her hands on his face to kiss him. Cas tangled his hands in her hair then moving up to her face holding it in his hands. He pulled her face back and looked at her. 

"Hello Cecelia"

"Oh Cas" he took her hand and hurried her over to his car. 

 

Dean was driving home to surprise all of them Sam, Cas, and most of all Cecelia. He drove up the street where the house was. He looked down to get pick up a cigarette. He looked back up laying his eyes on Cecelia and Cas, hand in hand going towards Cas's car across the street. He slowed down the car and steadied his eyes on them. They stopped when they arrived at the car and pushed their lips together Cas's rubbibg a lot her upper half and her arms wrapped around. 

"No that can't be them" he said aloud in the car "that bastard couldn't" he breathed heavily as he saw them get in the car "he would even dare to get with my sister." Cas and Cecelia drove away. Dean was getting furious. He followed Cas. 

Dean followed all the way to Cas's apartment. He parked a little far from the place and waited. Cas went into the parking lot. 

"I'm going to kill that" Dean stopped himself. He waited in the car till it got dark to get out. When night finally came he got out the car slamming the door. He walked up the into building and up the stairs to the third floor. Dean clenched his hands as he got closer to Cas's door. He could hear laughing and giggling through the door. He slid his hand across the top of the door to find the spare key and unlocked the door busting through it. Cecelia was sitting in Cas's lap laughing, her hands around his neck while Cas's around her waist.

"Cas you motherfucking bastard get her off" Cecelia looked up and jumped off of Cas. She looked so young a braid done on the side of her hair which looked messed up. Castiel got up and walked to Dean to explain himself, his hands up telling him to hold off any punches. Dean punched him across the face. Castiel fell to the floor Dean throwing punch after punch. 

"Dean" Cecelia yelled in the background "Dean stop it your going to kill him" Dean kept throwing puches at him. Castiel was smaller than Dean so he had chance against him. He didn't even want to try to fight against him he deserved every punch. Dean got up from Cas and looked at him.

"If your going to fuck my sister im going to fuck you up" Dean paused "everytime." He looked at Cecelia who was crying and staring at Dean. "So" she ran to him and started to punch him as hard as she could which wasn't very hard.

"I hate you Dean" that was the first time she has ever said that to him "I hate you so much" she stopped punching him and just leaned against his torso " so fucking much" 

"Stay here slut but don't ever come back you hear" he said. "You hear" she looked up at him.

"Leave Dean" 

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"I'll be back" Castiel said as he kissed Cecelia's forehead. 

"Be careful Castiel" she said then grabbing hold of his arm pulling him back "I love you." Castiel stared down at her.

"As do I baby" 

Castiel walked out the door leading himself to the car. He sat there taking a deep breath then slowly starting the engine and driving out of the apartments parking lot. He drove slowly down the street. 

The car stopped in front of the house. His eyes laid on the big red door. Biting his lip before stepping out of the car. He walked up to the door and knocked. Hands shoved in his jean pockets, teeth bitting hard on his bottom lip. The door opened and there stood a fit tall figure. Castiel's blues slowly looked up at the figure, meeting with their deep green ones. Castiel's mouth opened but nothing came out. 

"Did you come for her stuff"

"Yea" Cas's voice craked. He stared up at who once was his best friend his un biological brother. But now this person wanted him dead this person saw him as a threat, enemy. Dean raised his eyebrows and turned over his shoulder.

"Sam" he called out "get me her stuff." It was hard for Dean to say her name. Sam came out from inside the house holding three bags. He handed them to Cas then walking away. Dean starred at Cas then he finally shut the door leaving Cas alone on the porch. He walked slowly to the car and put the bags in the back seat. He sat at the wheel. Tears slowly came down his face. He gripped the steering wheel, slowly loosening his hands from it then clenching his hands and pounding it. His trickling tears quickly turned into sobbing ones. He started up the engine and drove away from the house. 

Cas made his way into town straight to the bar not home. He got off the car tears still rolling down his face. Letting himself in he sat in the seat at the very end. 

"Can I get a beer and a shot of whiskey"

"Some ID" Cas looked a little younger than his age. He was used to this question. Cas took out his wallet and showed him his ID. "Alright son" the bartender looked up at Castiel while getting his drinks. "Something bothering you boy" 

"No just need to relax a little" the bartender put down his drinks and stood in front of him.

"Now thats what you say but those tears say something a little different" he said "did a girl leave you" 

"No my girl is" he paused "she still with me" Cas took his shot and handed the man the glass back "another one" 

"Well you should be with her not here" he handed Cas the glass back. He picked up the beer bottle and took a sip before taking his second shot and handing the man the glass back for another. 

 

Castiel came home around midnight that night drunk. Cecelia was on the couch watching tv when she good the door slam and a thud on the floor. 

"Cecelia" he yelled "baby I'm back." He crookedly walked to the couch and looked down at her. "You..you look m-more beautiful than ever right now darling" his words slurred. Cecelia look at him.

"Castiel your drunk"

"Nah" he said "I'm a mess" he fell on to the couch and looked over to her. "Cecelia I love you" he said. His head fell in her lap. "I'm going to take care if you and not screw things up like I have already done"

"Cas you didn't do anything wrong" she rubbed the top of his head playing with his thick hair.

"Yes I did I ruin just about everything and I screw up just like I screwed up my life" he stared at the tv "I hate myself I mess up to much and I just want to at least make this, us right." Cecelia didn't know if he meant a word he said but it was hard for her to hear. 

 

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The days went on and Castiel and Cecelia were living a normal life together. Everyday they fell into the same routine. Cas would wake up first either make or get breakfast, Cecelia would wake up a little bit after they'd eat then find something to do in the apartment. They didn't go out much together since most of the town knew what was going on between. Cecelia stopped going to school for no reason really but to be with Castiel.

"Let's go out tonight" Cas said jumping on the couch. Cecelia was startled and looked up from her book.

"Cas you know.." 

"I know but all those people can mind their own fucking business" he said interrupting her.

"Ok then" she said "then where to" 

"The winter carnival" Cecelia eyes widen.

"Are you serious" she jumped up changing her position on the couch. 

"Yeah I though it be a perfect night" she sat on her knees smiling at him.

"I use to go their as a kid all the time Dean would take me and Sam and we would always go on the bumper cars" Cas stared at her "I use to have to ride with Dean till just a couple years ago and we would just go after Sammy" she smiled and her memories then looked down. Her eyes felt wet and she covered her face. Cas pulled her close to him. "We were supposed to go this year and" she started sniffling, trying to keep a smile "and he promised me that he would win me the big monkey he couldn't win last year" Castiel squeezed her tight as she cried in his shoulders.

"I know" he said rubbing her back "I know you miss him we don't have to go" she lifted her head up to look at Cas.

"I want to, I want to go Cas" she smiled "I want to go with you Castiel and we are going to have fun" she wiped her face taking the left over tears away

"Ok" he said kissing her cheek "don't worry I will win the big monkey for you" 

 

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"We have to Cas" Cecelia begged "I won't leave until we go on"

"No" Cas said "no, no and no" 

"But why its like a carnival traditions its my carnival tradition" 

"Noo" Cas sung to to her.

"You will get on that Ferris wheel by the time we leave" she stated to him.

"Well you keep thinking that" she looked up at him and giggled. "So this big monkey I think its about time that I win it for you" he looked down at her and smiled. 

They walked around looking for the carnival game that had a big monkey. After walking around for about 20 minutes nothing. Cecelia finally tugged at Cas's arm and pointed at a big monkey. The game was ring toss. Cas thought easy. They got to the stand.

"Uh" Cas looked up at the prices and how many rings he would get "3 rings." He pulled out the money to hand it to the to the worker. The man turned around. Cecelia smile faded away slowly when she saw a tall fit long haired man. His smile as well faded. Sam. He looked at the two and his smile slowly can back.

"Cas, Cecelia" he leaned over and pulled Cecelia in. He squeezed her little body in his. Cecelia wrapped her arm around her brother starting to tear. He let go of her looking down. "How are you and Cas nice to see you" he stared at him "really its nice to see you" 

"You to Sam" he said with a small smile. Sam was more of an understanding person. He wasn't necessarily okay with the whole thing and didn't accept it at all but he would never do what Dean did to Cecelia. 

"Why are you here" Cecelia asked to break the silence. Sam turned to Cecelia.

"Uh" he started "make a little more money for to buy gifts for the holidays" he smiled down to himself "I wanted to buy Jess uh a" he paused "a ring" 

"Ring" Cas said. His eyes squinted at Sam.

"She the one Cas" he said with joy.

"Finally a big sister for good" Cecelia said "how is she" 

"Good she misses you always says 'I need my little sister around'" 

"Tell her I said hi" 

"Yea yea i definitely will" he took a breath "so 3 rings" he stretched his arm out to get the money from Cas. Cas looked at him forgetting why he was holding his hand out.

"Oh" he looked down and gave him the money. "I got this baby" he said looking down at Cecelia. Sam looked at him then laughed. Cas missed all the shots and just stood there shocked. "Um 3 more" he asked Sam.

"Uh yea sure" he said laughing quietly to himself. He handed the rings back to Castiel. 

"Now I got this baby the last time was just a warm up" Cecelia looked at him and smiled at him. 

"Ok let me see you get me that big monkey" 

This time Cas got all three rings on the bottle. Sam handed the monkey to Cas who handed it over to Cecelia.

"For my Cece" 

"Cece?" Sam questioned. No one ever called her that except Cas. 

"She needed a nick name" he said while turning away with Cecelia.

"Bye Sam I love you see you soon" Cecelia said while walking away. Sam waved at the both of them. 

"Where to next" Cas said "I have an idea fun house"

"Cas those are for little kids" 

"You are a little kid" he joked. She looked at him and pushed him to the side. "I love you" he said, he scrunched his nose.

"You are lucky you are adorable"

"Or what" he said "you would leave me cause you ain't going anywhere my love" 

"Why is that" he looked straight and took a breath 

"Because you are mine and if you leave I won't won't have anything else to look forward to" she stopped walking and turned to him.

"Cas don't think like that you won't ever be alone" she said. She pulled him close and hugged him. The people around them were whispering to each other and staring. "I love you and I won't leave because there is no need to"

 

"People are staring" he said "lets give them a show shall we. He looked down at Cecelia and pulled her chin up. He pressed their lips together and held her close pulling her up for her to stand on his feet. They heard gasps being made from all over. He put her down and pulled back his lips.

"Fun house?" She asked. 

 

They walked through the mazes, little obstacle courses. They walked up the stairs. Cas held her waist from behind. The stopped at the distorting mirrors and Cas rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Oh my" she said while giggling "Cas look at us we at fat and short"

"Well you are I'm not since I'm standing behind you" he let go of her and walked over to the other mirror "I for one am tall and skinny" he smiled at her and walked over to his original position. They walked over to the slide and the lady managing it gave them a disgusted look. Cas notice and kissed Cecelia's cheek. They went down the slide together stopping half way down. They had to scoot them selves down, laughing the whole time.

 

It was getting late and all the carnival lights came on. Cecelia kept looking up amazed. The later it got the colder it was. Cecelia was wearing a dress and a scarf. She was starting to shiver and hold her arms across her chest. Cas noticed and handed her his letterman jacket he had from college. He didn't play a sport but had had one anyway. She put it on relived from the cold air.

"Ferris wheel?" she asked.

"Cecelia I hate Ferris wheels" 

"Why" she asked while looking up at her. Her big green eyes made Cas give in to her. 

"I will go on" he said while sighing. 

"You didn't answer my question" she said "why don't you like them" Castiel didn't want her knowing he was afraid of heights. He knew she would laugh at him.

"Can I see your monkey" he said avoiding the question. "Did you name him" she looked at him annoyed because he kept avoiding the question.

"Bananas" she said "I named him bananas." He looked at her his eyes squinted at the name.

"Really" he said. She looked at him and smiled. His confused and disappointed face faded away and along came a smile "I like bananas" he said. He put his arms around her waist and he kissed he cheek. "I'm bananas about you" 

It was there turn for the Ferris wheel and Cas was starting to have an anxiety attack as they got in.

"Cas its going to be fine" she said looking at him trying to comfort him. As it started to move Cas started to breath heavy. He is scared of heights she thought. He looked over out the side and pinned himself against he back of the seat grabbing Cecelia's hand squeezing it. His face was full of fear. It started to move around and Cecelia did her best to keep him calm.  
"Castiel its okay I'm here" she said repeatedly "don't look out Cas." The ride started to stop and each time they stopped and got closer to the top Cas freaked.

"I'm going to die today" he said "today is my last" 

"No its not Castiel" 

"I love you Cecelia" he held her hand tighter and tighter. "I really do I will miss you and have a good life after me" 

"Castiel look at me" she turned to face him. Pulling him to face her but he was strong and held himself pinned against the wall. She finally got him to budge "Castiel Novak look at me!" he turned slowly and looked at her "look at me baby its going to be okay you are not going to die" he starred at her and he slowly stopped breathing heavy. "It's okay I'm right here" she pulled him to her and pushed their lips together. His body relaxed in her arms. They stopped at the top and Cas stopped kissing her, he started to turn his head. "Cas" she said while pulling his head back to her kissing him again. His hand loosened hers and his body relaxed once again.


	4. Chapter 4

"Cas!" Cecelia yelled as she walked through the door "Castiel!" He came walking from the bedroom. He walked up to her placing his hands on her waist to hold her.

"What is it baby"

"Sam's wedding invitation!" she exclaimed "he invited us!" she looked at him with a big smile in her face then gave him a hug. "I didn't expect him to invite me, us" 

"Well that must mean something" she looked at him and nodded.

"Yea they must love me again" she joked

"Don't be like that they have always loved you" Castiel took the letters out her hand and set them down in the table. "They just have a hard time accepting us" 

"Everyone does" she added 

"Yes I know but they can block us out family have no choice to block family out especially close family" he looked down to her. "Cecelia don't worry ok just know that I love you" 

"As do I" he smiled down at her and kissed her forehead. He let go of her waist walking into the kitchen. Cecelia just watch his tired body move, his robe still on, messy hair.

"Did you eat" he turned around and face Cecelia.

"No" 

"What should I make anything you want" he said with a smile. He wasn't much of a cook. Half the meals he made for the two of them they never finished because it was so bad but he love to cook for her and she didn't mind how bad it was.

"Um pancakes and bacon?" He nodded his head and walked over to the fridge.

"Turn on the radio" he said while getting the stuff ready "its to quiet." Cecelia went over to the radio turned it on putting the volume to the max. She looked over at Cas as the song played it was one if his favorites. Jackson by Johnny Cash. 

"Look out Jackson town.." He sang while making the food.

"Castiel Novak are you dancing" she saw Cas move to the song. Castiel never danced not to one song.

"No" he said while moving towards her "I'm dancing with you" he held her hands moving both their arms side to side. Castiel kept singing.

"Well now, we got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper Sprout..." He sang to her. "What would you say if I told you I wanted to marry you" he said over the music.

"I'd say the bacon is burning" she smiled at him. His eyebrows rose in confusion then looked back and saw smoke rising from the pan. He was still dancing with her. He kissed her pink little lips and walked away to handle the food. 

"Oh my" 

"Here we go" Cas rolled his eyes and looked over at Cecelia 

"Oh yeah, I'll tell you something I think you'll understand.." She sang at the top of her lungs. She walked over to Cas and took his hands away from the stove. "I wanna hold your hand I wanna hold you hand.." She sang to him while holding his hands. Castiel just went along with it smiling at her and laughing a little as she got caught in the music.

"I actually think you love them more than me" 

"Castiel you can't possible think that" she said moving her hips side to side "c'mon dance you know you love it" 

"This song is old" he said still holding her hands and slowly dancing with her.

"Not even it came out 3 years ago" she argued back.

"Cecelia when is my birthday." She looked up pretending to think about.

"Hmm I don't know" Cas smiled at her "maybe August 20th 1945"

"I have bacon and pancakes to cook for you" he said. Cecelia was in love with The Beatles she knew a fair amount of stuff about them and talked about fairly much. It didn't really annoy Cas, he actually found it cute but she did get overly excited with them. She just stood there and laughed letting the music play. 

Cecelia heard a faint knocking sound on the door. She quickly lowered the volume. Castiel wasn't to happy about that.

"I was singing to you baby" he said after he was interrupted from singing 'Light my Fire' by The doors.

"I thought I heard a knock" she said she started to walk over to the door. She now heard a clear knock. Unlocking the locks and slowly opening the door. 

"Your food is ready baby" Cas yelled from the kitchen. Cecelia stared at the women in front if her blue eyes wide open and a big smile. 

"Jessica" she said. Cecelia wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tightly "I got your invitation today" Cecelia paused "I have missed you so much." She let go of her and looked up Jessica still smiling.

"Its good to see you to little sis." Since Sam had been with her so long Jessica and Cecelia got close she was like the women figure in Cecelia's life after her mom's passing. 

"Cece I didn't know if you wanted butter or not so I.." Cas looked up and saw her. "Jess" he walked over and have her a hug. "How are you and congratulations to you and Sam"

"Thank you Cas and I'm doing just fine" she looked back down at Cecelia "so any plans for today." Cecelia looked over at Castiel who nodded no.

"Not that I could think of" 

"Great I'm going to take you dress shopping" she said smiling.

"For" 

"Well you may be young but you are my little sister and I want you to be my made of honor for my wedding" Cecelia's mouth dropped.

"Of course lets go!" 

"Well I have to go run a bit of errands first I will pick you up around noon" 

"That sounds great" she gave Jess another hug "thank you so much" 

"Well you deserve it since you helped me plan the wedding when you were 12" 

"You remember that" 

"Sure do" she said laughing "well I should get going bye Cecelia, bye Castiel" 

 

Cecelia turned to Cas. "I'm going to be made if honor"

"I know I get to see you in a dress almost as beautiful as you and maybe I can get an idea of how you would look at our wedding." Castiel stepped over to Cecelia picking her up bridal style. He kissed her then quietly saying against her lips "I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Novak" Cecelia giggled. Cas walked her all the to the kitchen the set her down so she can eat.

"I love you Cas"

"As do I" 

 

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"I think that one its too long" Jess looked at Cas who asked to tag along on their dress shopping trip. Castiel was never one with fashion but he sure had a lot to say today. "It doesn't fit your body type" both Cecelia and Jess looked at him confused now.

"Ok then I'll try another one" Cecelia said.

"Yes, please" he nodded his head the turned to look at Jess who was still just staring at him "anything wrong"

"No its just" she sighed then smiling placing her hand on his shoulder "you are very critical" 

"Sorry" he said. Cecelia walked out on in a long silky light blue dress with a little shimmer hanging on her with one strap. "It's just.." Castiel trailed off as he took a look at her. He sat up in his seat lost in how beautiful she looked. 

"Is this one good" she asked "to over the top huh" Castiel just stared at her.  
"Cas" she said.

"Huh, yea its amazing" she lifted her long wavy light brown hair to show off the back. She just stared at her self in the mirror waiting for someone to say something.

"Cecelia you look beautiful." Jess said getting up to give her a hug "I think this one is the one" she held a small section of hair on the side of Cecelia's head "we can pin this back and put a flower or something nice" Cecelia puffed her cheeks and gave a slight smile.

"I don't know are you sure this dress is the one" 

"Positive" Castiel came walking behind stepping onto the small platform she was on. His hands were in his pockets, head titled to the side blue eyes staring at her. "I'm sure if it." Cecelia turned around at to face him. She looked up and smiled.

"If you say so." Jess stood there as they were having a small little moment.

"Great why don't you get changed and we will go out for lunch" Jess said to break the awkwardness. 

"You two go have some girl time" Castiel said

"Cas it fine you can come" 

"No, no" he said smiling "Cecelia needs it" Cecelia looked up at him "if you want to my darling" she smiled and looked over to Jess.

"Its fine Jess I think we need some sister bonding time" 

 

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"Have you talked to Dean"

"No" Cecelia looked down.

"He still loves you he" Jess pause "he just doesn't accept it" 

"It's not like you and Sam do so why does he get to act this way"

"Well he doesn't but you were his responsibility and this happening means he didn't do his job"

"But it makes no sense why is this wrong" Cecelia stated "why is me liking Castiel wrong actually no why is me loving Castiel wrong" her eyes started to water. Jess made her way to Cecelia's side of the booth. 

"Its not that its wrong" she said holding Cecelia close to her "it's just that he is older a bit more mature and him with you its"

"He won't do anything" 

"But he is an adult and your a child" Jess said "and he betrayed Dean, his best friend."

"Cas gets me he loves me" Cecelia tears were coming down even more now "right?" 

"It may be that but he may also just be bored"

"Can we go" Cecelia wiped her face and looked up at Jess. Jess nodded her head and got up from the booth. 

"Cecelia I don't accept it neither does Sam but I will always be here and I won't leave"

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Castiel sat there staring at the tv. Cecelia watched him while she sat at the table reading a book. At least trying to. She thought about what Jess had said. That maybe he was just bored. She walked over to her and stood in front of the tv. Castiel looked up at her he gave her a confused look.

"Stand up" she said. He followed her directions soon after. "Are you bored." She placed her arms around his neck standing in her toes to kiss his cheek.

"Cecelia whats this" he said grinning. He wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You love me right"

"Yes I do why wouldn't I"

"Good" she kissed his lips and unwrapped her arms from around him. She looked up at him and smiled "cause I love you to" 

"What is this all about" 

"I don't know I'm tired" she said.

 

They both sat on the floor laughing.

"Are you seriously taking that path"

"Castiel you are married with three children" she said pointing at his little game piece "I for one have a career and a life you can't blame me" 

"It's not my fault I have this life its the darn spinners fault" Cecelia laughed.

"Cas your the one who took the family path" 

"Let's not play this anymore and talk about real life" Cas said putting down his game piece "Mrs. Novak"

"Mr. Novak" she said blushing. "What would you like to know" 

"If we or should I say when we spend our lives together would children be in the equation"

"Absolutely" 

"If I may ask how many because I can tell you I already have one" Cecelia looked at Cas "unfortunately" 

"Cas" 

"My girlfriend acts like a baby just so you know I'm good with kids" Cecelia looked at Cas and pushed him.

"You do know that I hate you" 

"Correction love" 

"Yes but" Castiel got up from the floor Cecelia following behind. He looked down at her and smiled.

"Your mine" Castiel looked at her very playful and started to chase her around the small apartment.

"Cas stop" Cecelia yelled, laughing. He finally caught up to her holding her at her waist, picking her up leading them back to the bedroom. He placed her in the bed. She sat up leaning against the head rest patting the seat beside her for him to come join her. He sat down on the bed looking over at her. Her green eyes started to remind him of Dean. He looked down from them and his smiled started to fade away.

"Cas whats wrong" Everything was wrong for him. 

"Nothing just you remind me of Dean" he looked back up at her "well your eyes do" 

"Castiel I think you should talk to him" 

"And have him beat the shit out of me" she rested her head on his shoulder holding his hand "he hates me" he said "he was basically a brother to me.." 

"This sounds like you are blaming things on me" 

"Never its just maybe if I told him from the start"

"What that you screwed his 13 year old little sister" she said looking up "because that would have been worse considering I was younger then"

"I know" he squeezed her hand "look I don't know why we are talking about this we were having a great night" she looked down at her kissing her forehead "if Dean can't accept us thats his fault but I love you and thats all that matters"

"Hey I know something fun that we can do" 

 

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"Fuck" Dean said "what the hell is wrong with you inviting them means"

"Means what Dean that we still love her that we still care for her even.."

"How could I Sammy she lied to me to us"

"Dean I know but its my wedding so either you come and suck it up or you don't" 

"Keep Castiel away from me" Dean looked down and smothering his face. He didn't know what to think. If he he even saw the back of Cas all he would want to do is kill him. He pulled the chair out from the table and sat down. 

"Sammy" he said quietly. "I miss her she brought happiness to me, when I would come home it was to her"

"Dean you kicked her out" Sam said leaning against the kitchen wall "you could of kept her away from him" 

"But she is fifteen she would have found a way to see him" he sighed "I don't know Sammy it hurts that there is this part of me that wants to hurt her for being with him"

"Don't talk like that Dean you would never hurt her" 

"But she put Castiel in front if both of us she would rather be with him and not give a shit about us and Cas" Dean looked up at Sam and his eyes started to fill with rage. "How could he do this to me when I was beating him he let me he knew it was wrong but that fucker is still with her" 

"Dean its not like I could even look at him its hard but she will come back she will realize she needs us" 

"Just keep thinking that" Dean got up walking up the stairs. Dean walked to the door. The door to his little sisters room. He walked in and sat on the bed picking up the photograph of him and Cecelia. His arm was around her, her smile bright and big. He wiped a tear away and threw the frame on the floor.

"Dammit Cecelia" he yelled. He knocked over her lamp on the nightstand knocked down her coat hanger. "What the fuck is wrong with you" Sam stood there at the door and watched his brother trash the room. Dean fell to the floor and covered his face. Sam walked over to him and sat with him.

"I know Dean I know" 

"I'm not sure I could do this anymore" Dean picked up the shattered frame and took out the picture. He looked at it and smiled "this was our little sister Sammy but now she's dead" 

"Dean!" Sam raised his voice. 

"She got what she wanted" he took the picture holding it as if to rip it. Sam caught hold of his hands. Dean started to cry. He leaned into Sam's shoulder and cried.


	5. Chapter 5

It was the day of the wedding. Cecelia was with Jess getting ready. She put on her make-up while Jess pinned back her hair as she planned. They shared smiles and laughs as they got ready. 

Cas stood off to the side down at the ceremony waiting for the wedding to start. Just about everyone there looked at him with complete disgust. After every look he got he took a sip of whiskey from his flask he brought along. He knew this would happen he knew people would look at him. Judge him. 

Dean laughed, smiled and talked to family members. He to also took a sip of whiskey every time he laid eyes on Cas. He tried not to look but it was an urge to. He hated him, all he wanted to do was to go over there and throw a few punches at him. Sam tried to stay near him to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. He tried to numb himself before it was time to walk down the aisle. To walk with Cecelia.

Sam looked over at Dean and told him to was time to start. The bridesmaids and groomsmen all gathered in a room waiting to walk. Dean laid eyes on his little sister, his eyes started to water as he saw how beautiful she looked. He hadn't seen her since the day he found out about her and Cas. Her face was full of life she smiled and laughed, from what he remember her face was full of tears and hatred. Dean took Sam's hand and pulled him aside. 

"Sammy I can't do this" he wiped his tears from his face "she hates me, I don't want to be near her" Cecelia looked up and saw her two brothers talking in the corner. She saw Dean's face and looked down.

"Dean its ok you just have to walk with her no words need to be said" Sam said trying to calm him down. 

"I can't" he said tears started to roll down his cheeks. He looked over at Cecelia and broke down. "Sam please" 

"Dean, I'm sorry there is nothing I can do we have to start in five and you and Cecelia are right after the flower girls" Cecelia looked back up at them and saw Dean wiping his face leaning into Sam's shoulders. Sam looked over and caught her eyes which were now watering up as well. She gave a half smile and shook her head no to see if Dean would do it. He shook his head and bit his lip rubbing Dean's back. "Dean we have to do this" he said quietly "its time, do this for me and Jess" Dean looked up at Sam who's face was full of desperation. Sam tried not to cry as well. 

They heard the music start to play from behind the doors. "Its time" Sam said. Sam walked away to go through the doors. Dean stood in the corner, eyes still watery. The flower girls went through the door. Cecelia stood behind them and took a deep breath knowing that she would have to go by herself. She wiped a tear away and smiled. A hand gripped hers in which she jumped. She looked up and saw Dean looking straight ahead. She tried to put their arms in place but he just gripped her hand as tight as he could, not letting go. They started to walk. She looked up at him and saw tears running down his face. She looked back ahead and smiled. 

Cas looked at her and smiled. He saw Dean and Cecelia's hands locked together. He took a sip from his flask and smiled back up at her. 

"Here comes the bride" came on and the doors opened and in came a smiling blonde who's hair was pinned up with a little curl hanging on either side of her head. A dress that was bigger than her. Sam looked down the aisle and smiled at his wife to be. 

They said their vows to each other and then their "I do's". They locked hands and put them up in the air smiling. Sam looked at Dean and mouthed "I'm married" he then turned over to Cecelia and smiled. They walked down the aisle hand in had screaming and yelling in happiness. The crowd clapping and cheering. Cas got up and clapped for Sam who looked over at him smiling. He started to walk over to Cecelia who was crying in happiness for her brother. Castiel surprised her from behind.

"Mrs. Novak" he said while lifting her up bridal style. Dean watched them. "You looked amazing" 

"Shut up Cas I always do" 

"Yes you do" he looked at her and kissed her. Dean clenched his hand in a fist and started to walk over towards them. 

"Hey there boy let's go" An older man stepped in front of him. Bobby. He pulled Dean to the side and tugged him down the aisle, following the crowd of people. Dean looked back at Cas still holding his little sister kissing her. He looked ahead and finished the the rest of what was in his flask. 

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Sam held Cecelia's hand as they danced in the center of the dance floor. 'Twist and Shout' from the Beatles was playing. They both laughed and smiled. 

"I thought you would grow out of this phase but I guess not" Sam said over the music.

"Please Sam why would I ever" Dean stood of to the side at the bar. Drinking drink after drink. He just stared at them, her mostly. 

Cas sat alone at a table watching her as well. He would catch Dean staring at him every once and awhile. Dean's eyes stared straight through him, Cas could feel the anger. Cecelia came walking over to the table and looked down at Cas. He looked back up and smiled.

"Having fun Cece" he said.

"Well I would be if you would get up and dance with me" 

"I don't think thats a good idea" he said looking down. "As beautiful as you look and as much I would like to it may.."

"Be a bad idea yeah I know Cas but c'mon" she held her hand out and smiled. He looked at her to a deep breath, taking her hand. He got up and walked to the dance floor with her. Cecelia started to dance holding Cas's hands in hers. He just stared at her half smiling, watching her dance rather than dance himself. Dean stared at them as they danced, watching their every move as much as he wanted to walk over there and beat the shit out of Cas he promised Sam he wouldn't make any scene. 

"Cas you know I love this song just dance with me" he looked down at her and sighed. The song 'Then He Kissed Me' by The Crystals intro started playing.

"Fine for my darling" she started to smile and singing. 

"Well, he walked up to me and he asked me if I wanted to dance.." She sang to him. Cas started to dance with her rather than her making him move. 

Dean stood there at the bar, now downing the alcohol. He consumed more and more as he watched them.

"When he danced he held me tight  
and when he walked me home that night" the song went on "all the stars were shining bright"

Castiel stopped them both from dancing and stared down at her. She looked up at him and smiled. "and then he kissed me" the song went. Castiel pulled up her chin and pushed their lips together and wrapped his arms around her lower back holding her close. Dean put down the bottle of beer and clenched his hand into a fist. 

He walked over to them, pulling Cas away from Cecelia. "Wanna kiss something that belongs to me" he held Cas up by his shirt "wanna feel something against your lips." Dean's fist hit Cas's lips. "Hows that taste huh" he said while punching him over and over again. Cecelia stood behind and watched Dean hurt Cas. She covered her mouth and started crying.

"I told you every time Cas" he said "every time you touched her." Sam looked over and saw what was happening. He looked over to Cecelia and saw her crying, in shock.

"Cecelia" he rushed over to her. She fell back in his arms and hugged him.

"He hates me" she yelled over and over "he hates me, he hates me" Jess took Cecelia out of Sam's arms taking her away "he hates me" she cried.

"Dean" Sam yelled "Dean get off of him" 

Deans eyes started to fill with water. "How could you Cas" he wiped his eyes "my little sister" Sam grabbed a hold of Dean's waist, pulling him off of Cas. "How could you" he said, tears rushing down his face. He turned around and buried his face in Sam's shoulder.

"I love her Dean" Castiel said quietly "no matter what we had no matter how much you will hate me" he said "I will always love her." Dean wiped his face and looked back down at him. 

"Stay away from me and my family" he said "both of you"

Cas sat there in the middle of the dance floor. His face bruised and bloody. Cecelia ran over to him and hugged him. 

"I'm so sorry" she said to him. She looked at his face, placing her hand on her cheek.

"No" he said placing his hand over hers, taking both their hands away from his face "you should not be sorry" he said "Dean does." She looked in his blue eyes. He pulled her close and kissed her, holding her back slowing getting up. "I'm done with your brother" he said against her lips. He put her down and looked around at all the faces that were filled with shock, disgust and smiled.

 

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Castiel spent most of his night getting drunk after Cecelia went to sleep. His drinking problem getting worse as the days went by. Cecelia had no clue that this was going on, she didn't even know Cas had a drinking problem to start with. 

"Cecelia" Cas whispered. "Baby." She rubbed her eyes and turned around to see Cas. His breath smelled of strong alcohol. "Let's go for a drive" 

"Cas you need sleep" 

"I do but I'm bored" he said "c'mon lets go" he said begging.

"Where" 

"Anywhere" he said. He got up from the bed. Cecelia stared at his bare chest. "I wanna take you to see the world" 

"We can do that when you get sleep" Cas was starting to get frustrated. "Cas you don't look good" 

"Get up" he demanded "we are leaving" his smilie faded away. He now had face full of annoyance. She got up from the bed and stared at him. "Thats my girl" he said smiling again.

"Let me get ready I guess" 

"I'll just wait here then"

"I rather get ready by myself Cas"

"Why" he said "scared I might look, Cecelia I have seen you.." 

"Castiel get the car ready I'll be down" he walked over to her and pulled her waist to him. He kissed her then left. 

"If your not down in twenty minutes I'm leaving without you" he said while walking out the door.

Cecelia put on some jeans, found her favorite sweater she wore of Castiel's. She walked over to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, pulled her hair back and splashed water in her face to wake her up a little more. Castiel had never acted this way with her, demanding almost mean. She didn't know what to think of it. He's just tired she thought. She walked out the bathroom and saw Cas standing in the door way of the bedroom. She jumped.

"Cas" she said "you scared me" 

"Are you ready" she nodded and walked over to him.

 

They drove out of town and through small roads finally getting to the highway. It was two in the morning and Cecelia started to fall asleep.

"Hey" Cas yelled "no sleeping on this trip" he placed his hand on her thigh and smiled at her "I want you to see the world with me" 

"We are we going" 

"I was thinking Hollywood" he said "you might get to meet your Beatles guys" Cecelia smiled at the thought of that. She took Cas's hand off of her and held it. 

"Cas are you ok" 

"Never better" he said "I'm on the road with my love and we have a whole world to discover."

"You never mentioned traveling before" 

"Well I wanna travel now is that so bad darling" he said.

"No" she looked down "you just don't seem like the traveling type, the only person I ever knew who wanted to travel was Dean"

"He can go fuck himself" 

"Cas" she said

"Don't mention his name if you don't want me talking like that" Castiel took out his flask. The shiny silver of it caught Cecelia's eye. He took more than a sip before putting it aside. 

"I don't think its a good idea to be drinking and driving" 

"I'm fine"

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Cecelia smiled in front of the Hollywood sign while Cas took a picture of her. He had gotten better, sober from the night before. Cecelia walked over to Cas who shaking the picture to reveal the picture.

"So you enjoying the time here" he said while kissing her forehead.

"Yeah" she took the picture out of his hand and smiled "I'm tired" 

"Sorry about last night baby" he said "I don't know what happened" 

"Its fine just don't let sorry be your thing ok" he nodded and took her hand as the walked away. 

They drove around Hollywood boulevard. Cecelia mostly looked around to see of she could find any members of The Beatles. As daytime was fading so was their trip. Cas started on the road back home while Cecelia started to fall asleep.

Cas drove through the night. He kept thinking about the wedding. What Dean had said to him. What he had said to Dean. Castiel still had small bruise on his cheek left from Dean. He looked over at Cecelia who was sound asleep. Then pulling over to a gas station. 

He walked in the little liquor store.

"Do you happen to have a telephone" he asked the cashier. 

"Yeah its around back" Cas nodded and walked out the store around back to the phone. He put the money and dialed the number.

"Hello" the voice on the other line said.

"Ruby" Cas said "any parties for me to look forward to this weekend.

"Castiel" she said 

"Yeah and you didn't answer my question" 

"Oh well actually a few" she said.

"Are you going to be at any" 

"Maybe" she was getting excited. Maybe Cas was going to give her a chance she thought. "Be at my place Saturday night" she paused "ten sharp don't be late" 

"Yeah okay" he said then hanging up the phone. 

He walked back to the car where Cecelia was still sound asleep. He looked at her and sighed. "Cecelia i really love you" he said quietly "I really do"

 

The next day Cecelia woke up in the bed she shared with Cas. She turned around and saw a sleeping Cas laying beside her. She smiled and kissed him which lead to waking him up. 

"Good moring baby" he said smiling.

"I don't remember coming home" he put his arm around her pulling her close.

"I carried you up, you fell asleep on the way back" 

"Well you're a gentleman" she said while giggling. He started to tickle her.

"I am and you better not forget" he sat up on the bed. "Hungry my darling"

"Are you making me something or taking me out" 

"Well I'll take you out because I love you" he smiled at her "go get ready we'll go eat at the dinner"

Cas and Cecelia walked into the dinner and sat themselves down in their regular booth. People around the   
restaurant stared at them but it no longer bothered them. It really didn't bother Cas anymore because whenever he saw people looking at them he made a scene. 

"Good morning what can I get you two to drink" the waitress said. She had served them a couple times before and never gave them a hard time like most of the other workers.

"I'll have a coffee black and she will have.." 

"Water thank you" Cecelia said interrupting him. "I can order for my self Cas" 

"I was being nice" she giggled to herself "so baby I'm going to visit some old college buddies this weekend"

"You are going to leave me alone" 

"I would take you its just where would you stay and if Dean is there I don't want trouble" she smiled 

"Its fine Cas go you haven't seen your friends in ages and I'm sure you miss them" 

"I do but I'll miss you more when I'm gone" he switched sides of the booth to sit next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her pink lips. "I love you Cecelia" 

"I love you to Castiel" 

 

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Castiel knocked on the door. A girl in a white flowy dress that ended just above the ankles stood in the door way.

"Hi Castiel" she said "you right on time as usual" 

"Ruby" he said. He held out her hand for her to take in which she did. "You look amazing" 

"Cas if I take you back home tonight will you still like me in the morning" she asked.

"Well that depends will I enjoy tonight"

"Absolutely"

"Then yes I will"

Castiel and Ruby walked into the party. Cas looked around. It looked familiar to him, the furniture the color of the walls.

"Shit" he said 

"What is it" Ruby looked at him.

"Don't tell me this is Gabriel's house" he looked at her "I can't be here if it is" 

"Yeah it is" Cas took a deep breath and looked around. He found the stairs and lead him and Ruby up. "Cas whats wrong" 

"Gabriel is like Dean's tutor and they get along well" he lead them into a room and shut the door "knowing Gabriel Dean is going to be here" 

"Whats wrong with that aren't you guys like best friends aren't you like his second brother" Cas looked at her and laughed.

"Where have you been" he said. 

"I want to dance Cas and have fun we can't do that up here can't you just ignore Dean" he shook his head no while slightly bitting his lip.

"Look we will wait here for twenty minutes no longer and I'll send you down to see if Dean is here or not" Ruby signed, her hands on her hips. 

"Fine." Cas sat on the bed Ruby following after.

Twenty minutes went by and Ruby shot up from the bed. They just sat there staring at the wall not saying a word to each other. Since Cas only used her when he was bored and not feeling himself he had nothing in common with her. 

"Cas I'm going down" he watched her leave out the door. He just sat on the bed still. All his thoughts were of Cecelia he couldn't get her out of mind. The door swung open. "Cas get you party ass up" Ruby said holding a bottle of whiskey. Cas got up and walked out the room. 

Cas drank until his blood was filled with alcohol. He drank away his pain. His pain from Dean from leaving college and his pain for leaving Cecelia knowing what would go down with Ruby when he was here. He danced with the girl in the white dress. Hands all over her. The music blasted throughout the house.

"Castiel why'd you leave" she yelled.

"I don't know" 

"There must be a reason you said something about a girl" 

"Shut up Ruby and dance with me" he said while taking a drink.

Cas stopped dancing for a while and walked, more like stumbled around the house. He caught sight of a brown haired girl smiling and dancing.

"L-Lisa" he said "Lisa its Cas" she looked around to see who was calling her room. He finally caught up to her and smiled "Lisa how ha-have you been" he put his arm around her.

"I can see you haven't laid off the drinks have you Cas" 

"Its good for you, you know" he said while finishing up the bottle "good for your soul"

"Cas I think its about time you left, your going to do something stupid and Dean is not going to like it" 

"Fuck Dean and fuck you for mentioning him" Cas put his hand down from her and started stumbling away. Lisa looked at him in complete shock. Castiel struggled to look for Ruby. He finically spotted her and smiled.

"Ruby I-I wanna go home with you now" Ruby saw how wasted he was and sighed. She knew when he woke up in the morning he wasn't going to remember anything and he was going to leave her again. She slightly smiled.

"Alright Cas let's go" she said while he dragged him out of the party.

"You know I may not remember any of this but you're a good friend" he stuttered "and I may call you a bitch in the morning but just remember I said this" she looked at him and smiled.

 

The morning after Cas woke up in the bed alone. He looked around for Cecelia. She wasn't there. He tried to remember what had happened and then he recognized the room.

"Ruby" he shouted. He got up and pulled on his pants "Ruby" she walked into the room and handed him his shirt. 

"Cas you can leave now" he took the shirt and looked at her.

"We need to do this again" he said "and hang out as friends" she was surprised at what he said. 

"I'm just a call away" 

 

Cas stayed at Ruby's for the rest of the day as there was another party. By the time Cas was totally done and just messed up from the alcohol he left. He left without telling Ruby. 

On the way home he started think about everything although he couldn't necessarily think straight everything that ever bothered him just hit him that night. 

 

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Cecelia heard the door slam. She looked back and saw Cas stumbling through the door. She smiled real big thinking he was just tired from the drive, having no idea how much alcohol he had consumed in the past couple days especially tonight. She walked up to him and saw his eyes.

"Get out my way I'm tired" he said to her. Not even greeting her with a hug, kiss. Nothing. She just stood there confused "I said get out of my way, shit Cecelia" he raised his voice "move". He pushed her body over making her trip over her foot. She caught herself on the table and watched him go to the bedroom. She followed behind.

"Cas I missed you" she said while sitting next to him on the bed.

"You know if you didn't come along I could have had a nice time this weekend but I didn't I had to worry about you idiot brother catching my ass" 

"Cas" he looked at her the looked down at the floor.

"Cece I'm sorry just leave me" she started to feel drips of water going down her face. He may have been drunk but what he said was true she thought. He kissed her softly on the lips and fell back on the bed.

"I love you Castiel" she said softly.  
He mumbled it back then just fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

The days had been getting longer at least for Cecelia. She sat at home alone most of the time waiting for Cas to come home. Castiel would spend his days visiting Ruby or down at the bar, he told Cecelia that he started a new job since he didn't want her to worry or be upset. When he did come home he was drunk, wasted, all he could process in his brain was either rip her clothes off or go to sleep. It didn't fell much like love and happiness anymore. Castiel was hurting day by day from how much he messed up his life, although he didn't ever blame Cecelia even though she was a big part of why he wasn't ok why his life was as bad as it was.

"Cas" Cecelia said. They were both seated on the couch watching tv.

"Yes, my darling" he said looking over to her. It was a good day.

"You still love me right" she asked. He starred at her, then looked down sighing. She was scared he was going to no or I don't know. He looked back up at her and pulled her small body closer to him. He lifted her chin and pressed the lips together softly.

"Of course I do" he said against her lips "I won't ever stop loving you" he looked into her green eyes and smiled. She looked back at him and smiled as well. 

"Can we do something soon" she said "we haven't been out, well at least together"

"Anything you like baby" 

"How about.." Cas eyes widen and his smile grew.

"The movies" she looked at him giving him a face of un satisfaction of his choice "c'mon baby we can see" he looked down trying to think what movie "Bonnie and Clyde"

"That movie is still in theaters" she added 

"It has to be" he said "c'mon you can be my Bonnie and I can be your Clyde"

"I don't want to die Cas and I definitely don't want to be Americas most wanted and have my face in thousands of newspapers" 

"Why Cece your face is beautiful" her cheeks blushed.

"Fine Cas" she said giggling "tomorrow night" 

"Yes I promise" he said while he started to tickle her. This was one of the bed moments they had together since the wedding. Cecelia didn't like that it was just moments that were good but it was something. 

 

Castiel had woken up early. He layed up in the bed and looked over at the girl laying next to him. He rubbed his hands through his hair and got out of the bed. He crept through the room trying not to wake her up and walked over to the bathroom turning the faucet on splashing warm water on his face. He looked in the mirror, his eyes were a dark blue with dark bags underneath. Cas didn't recognize himself he looked tired, warn out. He pulled the drawer out scrambling through pill bottles both empty and full. All the bottles belonged to him he mostly got them from Ruby taking them from her apartment without asking other than that they were his prescription. He took out the aspirin bottle taking a little more than 5 pills. He looked back up in the mirror and sighed. 

Cecelia woke up to the smell of food, breakfast. She tiredly got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. 

"Good morning baby" Castiel said while looking up from the stove. He put down his utensils and walked over to her giving her a kiss.

"Whats all this" she asked

"Nothing, I just woke up early" he said. Cecelia walked over to the table and sat down picking up the newspaper that laid on the top. 

"It says that it will be showing at seven tonight" she said talking about the movie.

"Huh" she held up the paper "oh right that'll do."

"Did you forget" 

"No, no he said while walking over to her with two plates of food for them "why would I forget I'm the one who made the plans" he joked while kissing her forehead. He sat down at the table with her. "Darling" he said quietly "I have to go to Berkeley, get some stuff done over there" 

"Dean is still over there"

"I'm willing to take that risk besides I could take him" he said "I'll fight for what I love" Cecelia smiled and ate her bacon. "I'll be gone all day but I'll be back to pick you up for the movie so look pretty for me my darling" 

"I always look pretty" 

"I love you" he said smiling.

"I love you to Cas" he got up from the table walking back to the bedroom. He pulled out his flask drinking the rest of what was left in there from what he had filled up in the morning. 

–––––––––––––––––

"Castiel I can't believe it you just got here" Ruby said while buttoning up her shirt.

"Yeah well I was bored and I saw your beautiful face" Cas got himself drunk before he got to Ruby's. It was the only way he could even be around her for a long period of time. Cas threw his empty bottle on the floor after it was finished. 

"Cas slow down thats your second one." 

"Don't tell me what to do" he slurred his words. "Did you know that if I was sober I would be disgusted I was here" he said. "Just think about it you can only do me when I'm drunk is that how you want me" Ruby looked at him, her face immediately went from happy to hurt. "I gotta go I'll come back later get us the stuff by the time I come back or you will be a lonely whore" Cas got up from the bed and walked out the door.

Cas walked around town. His steps crooked on the sidewalk. He looked over at his reflection in the window and saw his messed up hair, half way buttoned shirt. Everything was hurting him. He hated everything about himself and what he had gotten himself into. He walked up to the campus of the school and walked in. The news on why Cas was no longer in school had apparently spread since just about every face that laid eyes on him had a look of disgust and resentment. He lead his way over to the pay phone taking the last sip of his beer bottle before dialing the number. 

"Hello" a deep husky voice said on the other line. Cas started to tear up "hello this is Dean Winchester" he said "alright you little fuckers stop playing around I gotta go" the line went dead and Cas's tears started rolling down. He put in more change and dialed.

"Hello" the voice was a calming sweet voice.

"Baby" he said "Cecelia I miss you"

"Cas you have been gone for four hours and you already miss me" Cas dropped the bottle making a loud breaking noise.

"I always miss you even when I'm around you" 

"Cas" she said.

"I hope you're getting ready for me" he said while leaning against the wall.

"Not yet I was just about to" 

"Then I'll leave you to it baby I love you"

"I love you to Cas" she hung up the phone and Cas wiped his tears from his cheeks. He put back the phone and slid down the wall dropping his head down in his knees. 

–––––––––––––––––

"I don't know meg" Cecelia looked at the dress holding it up to her looking in the mirror "I think its a bit to much" 

"I don't Cecelia so wear it" meg snapped back.

"I invited you over for your opinion not to tell me what to do" 

"Well I gave you my opinion and you don't like it" 

"I'm glad to see you again, really it's been to long" Cecelia laid the dress on the bed. 

"Well I'm the only one that supports you in this whole thing with Castiel"

"And this is why your my bestfrined you get me" Cecelia said smiling. Meg got up from the chair and walked around the apartment that Cecelia and Cas shared.

"Its a nice little place here you got here" Meg looked at Cecelia "really it is" 

"Thanks" Cecelia rolled her eyes "Meg" 

"So Cas?" 

"He is in Berkeley getting some stuff" she held up another dress to herself "this one good?" 

"I got my eyes on the first" Cecelia looked back at the dress on the bed "he would like it, considering the cut of it" the dress was a flowy black dress that singed at the waist and ended a little bit above her ankles. 

"Yea but its showy" she said.

"I give up with you" meg said "so what time is he coming back"

"Before the movie starts so around six-thirty" 

"Great and you're almost done I have an idea for you" Meg said while getting up. She picked up the dress off the bed and handed it to her. "Meet him down there, surprise him."

"I don't know I would need money for a taxi or train" 

"Leave it to me c'mon he would love that, you said that it hasn't been very happy around here this would be good" 

"Let me finish and I'll think about it" 

"Cecelia" 

"I said I will think about it" she said back.

Cecelia walked out of the bedroom. Her hair was pushed back, curled. Make up done very girly and flirty, she wore bright red lipstick and smiled down at meg who was looking through a magazine.

"This good" 

"Cecelia Cas will marry you on the spot when he sees you" she put down the magazine "and I see you went with the black dress" she said smiling.

"Shut up, now call me a taxi I'm going to surprise my Castiel" Meg walked over to the phone calling her a taxi.

Cecelia was nervous and excited about meeting Cas. She didn't know how he would react when he would see her since he wasn't to fond of surprises but she wanted to try something new. She pulled out her small mirror and checked up on her makeup then taking a deep breath while putting it away. 

–––––––––––––––––

"Thank god" he said. Cas went over to Ruby and pressed their lips together holding her body close to his. 

"Cas" she whined "not now, later" he pouted his face and kissed her cheek then letting her go. She looked up at him and smiled while opening her hand and revealed the needle. "This is what you wanted right" 

"I think I may love you" Cas said while taking it from her hand. She wrapped a piece of cloth on his arm just above his elbow very tightly while he got the drug ready. He pushed the needle in his vein. He rolled his head back and grinned.

"How does that feel baby" 

"I don't really care I just really wanna feel you right now" he tied the piece of cloth around her upper arm. 

"In just a little bit Cas don't worry" she said. She took the needle from him and injected the drug in her. She looked at him and kissed him. He fiddled with the hem of her shirt tugging it up and over her head. 

"Now baby" she started unbuttoning his shirt. 

"Hold on hold on" he said. Cas got up front the bed and walked around looking for something.

"What is it Cas" 

"My watch" he said while scanning the room "the time I need it" 

"Castiel who cares just waste your time with me" he ran his fingers through his hair and walked out the room. Ruby, who was still shirtless walked out and followed him. "Cas c'mon we were having fun" she said while she was tugging at his shoulders. Ruby kissed his neck.

"I don't wanna start the fun yet" he said while turning around and kissing her lips. "I need more" he said. She rolled her eyes and walked back to the room getting the drugs, the heroin. Cas looked through the cabinets and grabbed the first pill bottle he saw. He didn't bother to read it or anything he just took basically the rest of the bottle, downing it with vodka.

—————————————

Cecelia sat in the back seat of the taxi waiting patiently to get there. 

"Excuse me may I ask you the time" she asked the driver.

"Six thirty miss" Cecelia prayed that he was still there. She thought about how happy he would be to see her and how they would spend the night together. All she wanted was for things to get better with them, with Cas since he hadn't been feeling well the past couple of months. As she got closer to the city she thought of how she would meet him. Considering that she had know idea where he was or where he would be at. 

The driver looked at her through his mirror "Where did you say you'd like to be dropped off at" 

Cecelia looked up "Oh the university" he shook his head ok and continued on the road. 

Cecelia got out the car and stared up at the big school. The last time she had been here was when Dean first moved here. She walked around trying find anything that could help her at least get an idea of where Cas was. 

She saw a car a dark blue car sitting out front of some apartment building. She recognized it knowing that Cas had to be somewhere around here still. Cecelia walked across the street and looked up at the building. Night was starting to fall and it was starting to get cold, it was already past seven. Cecelia thought if Cas was still here he must have forgotten about their plans. It worried her about what he had been doing, she didn't really know about his drinking or drug problem all she knew was that he would drink and come home drunk ever so often. She walked into the building and saw a front desk man.

"Excuse me but have you seen a tall man he has blue eyes and his hair is dark," she started "I believe he was wearing a button down shirt with black bottoms" 

"I think I know who you are talking about" he said "he went up a while ago, let me get you the apartment number" the man looked through a book. Cecelia waited anxiously for him to find the apartment number. "Apartment C13"

"Thank you very much,um how do I get there" 

"That would be helpful information." He said smiling at her "it's the third floor to your right" 

"Alright again that you very much" Cecelia left the desk over to the elevators. She pressed the button for up. As she waited for the elevator to get to the floor she pulled out her mirror touching up her lipstick making sure everything was in place. The elevator stopped on the second floor and in came man and a women.

"Sorry are you going up" she asked confused.

"Yes we went on the wrong floor" the women said. 

 

Castiel and Ruby were both as high as the sky. Castiel was worse since he had taken the other pills and drank almost every alcohol beverage he could find. 

"Baby" Cas said "come here" Ruby walked over to Cas who was almost naked with only underwear on, Ruby the same. He kissed her softly. He had forgotten all about Cecelia and what they had planned. Castiel was the worse he had ever been.

 

Cecelia got if the elevator and walked right to the apartment. She made her way over to the door and found it. She took a deep breath and smiled before knocking. She waited there but there was no answer. She knocked again and still nothing, she turned the door knob which was unlocked. She slowly opened the door and walked in. 

"Cas" she said quietly "Cas are you here" she looked around the room clenching her little clutch bag. She heard laughing coming from the back of the apartment and walked over. 

Cas and Ruby were making out. Cas had his hands all over her, he would tickle her making her laugh dramatically.

Cecelia hear Cas's voice and smiled. "Cas!" she yelled while walking into the room. Her big smiling faded away as she saw him, the one she had loved so much. Her eyes started to get watery as she saw them together. Cas looked up and saw Cecelia standing there. "Castiel" she said quietly. Expecting him to say sorry or come rushing over to her.

"Why the fuck do you always seem to ruin my day my time when its going good" he said. He walked over to her "no seriously haven't you ruined enough of me already you little slut" 

"Cas" she said.

"You just have this big giant crush on me little girl I said I love you isn't that enough" he smirked "wanna be an adult with me than c'mon take off that little dress of your and here stick this is your veins and come join the fun" he grabbed the needle from the table beside him. Ruby looked up at Cas shocked at how he was acting. She didn't know much about Cecelia just that she was Dean's little sister who had a crush on Cas. That's what Cas told her.

"Whats wrong with you" she said "Castiel you don't mean this"

"Oh yes I do little girl" he put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her to him kissing her lips. "I really do" he said against them.

 

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Cecelia sat at home staring blankly at nothing. She sat on the couch, knees pulled up. All she could hear in her head is what Castiel had said to her repeating over and over again. The door slammed and in came a happy Cas who had forgotten everything from the night before. He held a big bouquet of flowers. 

"Oh my darling" he said "I have a surprise for you" he said while walking over to her. He's at down next to her and smiled handing her the flowers. She just stared ahead not acknowledging anything he did. "Cece whats wrong" he put down the flowers and put his arm over her pulling her to him. 

"I thought my new nickname was little girl" 

"What no, why would you think that" Cas turned her face to look at him "I'm sorry I missed the movie last night I got stuck in traffic.." He smiled "its kinda funny actually" 

"How was Ruby" Cecelia looked at him "now I think thats funny" he looked at her, smile fading away.

"Who told you" he rubbed his face.

"You did" she started crying "Cas, you did!" Castiel looked at her confused. What was she talking about he thought. He thought about the night before and slowly the words he said to her his actions towards her started coming to him. Everything from the night before was a blur to him but her remembered her face. Her scared, confused face. He looked down at her and slowly unwrapped his arms around her, while getting up as well. He stood up and stared down at her. His breath was pacing.

"Shit" he said under his breath "shit" his hand rand through his hair "Cecelia" he started to feel tears slowly come down his cheek. "I love you don't you ever forget that" 

"No you don't" she yelled back "if you did those words would have never came out you mouth" she could barely talk "you know what they say, you say what you think, feel when you drunk or high" 

"I know I know but" he knocked over the vase that sat on the coffee table. It shattered into pieces onto the hard wood floor. He looked at her scared face. He leaned down to her level on the couch pulling her back so she'd be closer to him "look at me" her eyes slowly met his "forget the fucking slut Ruby, she means nothing to me, absolutely nothing" he looked at her "I love you" he picked her up off the couch, she wrapped her legs around him and pulled his head to her.

"I don't believe you as much as I want to" she said quietly in his ear.

 

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"I don't know Bobby" he said, rubbing his forehead "I can do that" 

"Dean" Bobby "you have to at least give her a chance" 

"He's right Dean" Sam walked into the kitchen, joining their conversation "you never gave her the chance like I did, like we all did" 

"Sam" Sam looked over at him raising his eyebrows "you know I can't do that, that's like say it's okay to Cas for sleeping with my, our little sister from the age of thirteen" 

"I know but you cut her from your life from coming home" 

"She has a home now I am not going to have anything to do with her anymore that's it" Dean started to walk away.

"You know though" Sam said "you know what could happen" 

"What the hell you talking about" Dean said.

"You know exactly what I am talking about"

"Yea I do Sammy and I'm saying I don't care" Dean stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked down. 

"Fine but if anything happens the blood is on your hands" Dean took a breath and slowly walked up the stairs.


	7. Chapter 7

"Cecelia" Castiel said quietly. He took a drink of his bottle of whiskey he had beside the bed on the night stand. This was his fourth glass that night. He tiredly looked over at Cecelia who was face the other way staring at the wall, eyes tearing up. She was still hurt from the night with Ruby. "My Darling" Cas's eyes started to water, he knew he wasn't going to get a reply "I love you so much, so fucking much and to think" he wiped his tears "to think that I could cause you this much pain just kills me inside Cecelia you don't understand" Cecelia just laid there in the bed next to him tears falling down more and more as he talked to her. 

The open window let in a cool breeze and Cas could feel her shiver. "Cecelia you're cold baby come here" Cas put his arm around her and laid down next to her. She grabbed his hand and removed his arm from around her. He started to lay back up and looked at her as she got up from the bed. Castiel's eyes started to fill with water. 

"Dammit Cecelia" he threw his glass at the wall next to her. She stood there stunned, shaking. "I'm fucking trying to fix this, us don't you love me" he picked up the lamp and threw it over at the wall. She looked at him scared not know what to do, where to go. Cecelia took a step back to the wall and slid down. Her knees were pulled up, hands covering her ears to block out Cas's yelling.

"I wish I could have never met your brother than my life wouldn't be so fucked up this is all your fault little slut." He got up from the bed and walked over to her and kneeled down to her level. She slowly looked up at him, face full of terror. He grabbed her hands pulling them down away from her ears. "Look at me" Cecelia looked down and close her eyes. Cas gripped her hands "Fucking look at me!" he yelled.

She looked up at him. His eyes a dark blue. They weren't the same blue eyes she fell in love with years ago. "Say you love me, I can see it in your eyes" he started to tear up again "say it Cecelia say you love me" he pleaded. He leaned and kissed her. Taking her small body in his arms. His hands rubbing her back trying to calm her. "I love you"

"I love you too Castiel" she said softly, he smiled.

"That's my girl" 

 

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‘She walked up to the door. The big red door. It was so familiar to her but it felt out of place to knock on it instead of just walking in. The locks clicked and the door opened wide. Two sets of bright green eyes stared at each other.

"Dean" she said quietly "Dean I'm scared" 

"Go" he said sternly. No hesitation.

"Dean please I need you" he looked down at her and saw how scared she was, the fear in her eyes were hard to miss. He looked at her small body and the parts that were shown, black and purple spots scattered around. He looked back her face which was now bloody, lip cut eye swollen. Her face was no longer innocent and sweets but just wrecked and ruined. 

"Get the fuck of my porch" he snapped back not caring about how she looked anymore. Her eyes watered and she started to cry. She stepped back of the porch into a tall mans arms. 

"She's mine Dean" he gripped her shoulders, grabbing her chin for her to look up at him he kissed her bloody lip then threw her to the ground. He took a drink from a sliver flask and smirked. Cecelia laid on the floor no longer moving. Dean walked back into the house shutting the door.’

 

Dean shot up from the bed his breath was heavy and hot. He ran his fingers through his hair. All that was running through his mind was his dream. He thought to himself "she's not my responsibility anymore don't worry about her" he shook his and remembered was sam said. If something did happen to her it would be his fault he didn't protect her but it doesn't matter he thought it's her choice to be with Cas. Dean got out the bed and walked into the bathroom. He turned on the faucet to the shower. He got in drenching himself in hot water. All he could think of the bruises on her and smile on Cas's face. Was he proud that he hurt her. He knew what Cas could do to her if he didn't help. No, he couldn't help that little slu.. Dean couldn't seem to call her that anymore. 

Dean got out of the shower and wiped the fog off the mirror and looked at himself. Cas won't get bad again he thought. He can't. 

"Sammy" he yelled. He heard the creak in the stairs while sam walked up. 

"Yeah" Sam said walking into the room. 

"I-I" he stuttered "I need to talk to you" Sam raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah what" 

"I had a dream" he started.

"Congratulations Dean" Dean rolled his eyes at him.

"It was about Cecelia and Cas and" he dropped his head "and well it scared the shit out of me and I really wish it didn't"

"What happened"

"Bruises" he started to tear up at picture that's was in his head "bruises and blood, she was covered in them. Then Cas that motherfucker shows up pushes her to the ground, she stopped moving h-e- he killed her and he smiles at me, it was like that push was the last straw for her"

"Dean it's probably..." Dean cut of Sam.

"She came to the door and told me she was scared and her eyes were terrified of something, Sammy I will never forget the look her eyes have off." Dean walked over to the bed and sat down. He pulled out a picture and a necklace from his pocket. The picture was of Cecelia. A small Polaroid picture of her standing at the carnival holding a small teddybear smiling as big as she possibly could. The necklace had a gold letter "C" on it. It was given to her by her mom, Cecelia never took it off. It was left in her room on her night stand after she left. 

"I keep these with me everyday and I have no idea why" Dean said while tearing up. He looked down at the picture and a tear drops fell onto it. "Sam I used to think about it you know, Cas getting bad and hurting her so that I wouldn't have to deal with her or this anymore."

"Dean you still love her she is your little sister your prized possession" he smiled.

"That's just it Sammy I have no love for her, there is no love for her anymore and it kills me because I just want her to come home and tell her everything is okay but I just am so frustrated with her and angry with her that I can't sammy I can't let her in" 

Dean covered his face, dropping his head down in his hands. He knew what Cas would turn into it has happened before. He knew his dream would come true. 

"Dean no matter what you feel you need to get Cecelia out of this mess Dean and I'm not going to do it" Sam said sitting on the bed next to him "this is your problem Dean and you need to fix it or not just you but me and Jessica will loose our little sister." Dean looked up at him, his vision was blurry from the tears. Sam was right but Dean knew it would be hard to let Cecelia come home. 

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Castiel and Cecelia were sitting on the couch, watching a movie. It was a better day but Cecelia still felt distant from him. They didn't cuddle up like usual instead they sat on opposite sides of the couch. Cas would look over at her every once in awhile but shestared straight ahead. She could feel his eyes staring at her, it was so tempting to look back and say everything was fine but she knew everything wasn't. 

"Baby" he said breaking the tension "remember I said you are my Bonnie and I'm your Clyde" he smiled. He wanted to everything to be okay. He missed her even thought she was sitting right there. "Baby your still my Bonnie right" Cas had been sober for three days now, since the night he just about lost it. Even with Cecelia knowing this she was still terrified of him. She looked over at him and saw his desperate eyes falling for them. 

"Yes I am Cas I'm your Bonnie and I always will be" she smiled and looked back at the tv.

"I wanna sit next to you, c-can I sit next to you" Cecelia looked down and started to tear up. As much as she wanted him to she couldn't let him come back that quickly.

"I can't Castiel I'm sorry" she wiped her face and looked back at the tv. Cas sighed and looked down, he didn't like that they were as close he got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen grabbing a beer from the fridge and walked to the room with tears rolling down his face. He shut the door. Cecelia sat there watching Bonnie and Clyde by herself. 

 

Cecelia woke up the next morning on the couch. The small apartment was quiet. It usually was, at least the past few months it was. 

"Cas" she yelled. She got up and walked over to the bedroom, it was empty. The room had broken glass scattered all over the floor. Assuming that Cas was drinking last night. She noticed crumpled paper scattered as well. She picked one up and opened it. 

“Dear Dean,   
I'm sorry I fucked things up again. I know I promised you I wouldn't do this but you made things so hard, especially with you meeting Lisa and asking me to help you with her. It hurt me and I know I said I was okay with you moving on I lied Im not. But I know how you feel towards me since I took my anger out on your sister. The only thing your cared about fuck you cared about her more than life. But that's how I feel towards you. It weird to because I feel something for your sister I really do but I'm killing my self everyday because every day I look into her green eyes I see you. Anyway if you ever read this just know I'm trying to contain myself from making the same mistake as before because I love her but maybe I only do because she reminds me of you.  
Cas "

Cecelia put down the piece of paper confused. How drunk was he she thought. None of it made sense it seemed almost like a love letter. She heard a loud slam. It startled her and she turned around. Cas walked in the room and looked down at the piece of paper on the bed. He looked back at her not very happy.

"You fucking read it didn't you" she stood there looking up at him. He walked over at her and slapped her across the face "can't you just mind your own business little girl" Cecelia fell back on the bed. 

"Cas" she weeped. 

"That's was you get now get the fuck up" she laid there holding her cheek. "I said get the fuck up" she laid still on the bed. "Fine then lay there I'll just kiss you laying down it sounds more fun anyway." Cas unbuttoned his shirt and kissed her. She pushed him away.

"Castiel stop it I-I don't want to do this" 

"Your going to do as I say" he tried kissing her agin but she turned her head and shut her mouth. "Fuck Cecelia" 

"Cas get off of me" she said trying to push him away. "Cas" she said. Cecelia struggled to get free of him but she was no match. "Please" 

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Cecelia looked at herself in the mirror. She had bruises all over her body from Cas's grip on her nights before. Her cheek hand red mark stained on it. Cas walked in the bathroom. Cecelia stepped back and looked down and quickly pulling down the sleeves of her sweater covering up the marks he left on her. Cas was sober and didn't remember a thing. 

"Baby give me a kiss" she took another step back scared. Last time he wanted one he slapped her. "What's wrong" he moved her hand that was covering her cheek and saw the the dark red spot on her pale face. He stepped back and looked at her. "Who did this" 

"You" she said quietly no hesitation in the word. She wanted him to know what he had done. 

"No I didn't, Cecelia no I didn't" he lifted her head and saw what his drunken actions had done to her. 

He rubbed his thumb over her cheek "did I do anything else to you" he hesitantly asked. She lifter her sleeves up and showed him the bruises. "Cecelia sorry will never be enough to make those feel better to make you feel better" 

"You could stay away from me" Cas looked at her stunned at her words. 

"For how long baby" he asked.

"I don't know Cas I'll let you decide when you think you feel better when you know your drinking and drug days are over" Cas looked down at her and kissed her cheek then left the room.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!(:   
> My Instagram: @jensens.assckles


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